Encourage Society Awareness

The role of society, in regards to child abuse, is key to prevention. Our society, as a whole, must make some changes. New and stronger laws must be implemented, while some of the older laws must be reformed in order to bring about change.

There are several areas of change that I would like to highlight in this article. The first being how our society views men and women in general. From the time a child enters Kindergarten, they do role playing. The boys get ready and leave for work and the girls stay at home and take care of the house. Another viewpoint is that the boys feel they must be the prince or the rescuer while the girl is the one that needs rescuing from a prince. Many movies portray this role playing as well. Cinderella had a prince that rescued her. Snow White needed a prince to save her. The list for this type of role playing goes on and on.

As children grow, they take what our society has taught them and begin to think using those ideals. It is my opinion that it is stereotypical thinking and believing. The boys, according to our society, are supposed to be big and strong and able to rescue. The girls are supposed to be overwhelmed with the fact that the boys can do the rescuing. I think Mulan is the first movie I remember that doesn’t have this stereotypical reasoning behind it. Instead, Mulan is an independent soul. However, at the end of the movie, the boy she likes comes to her house and she is smitten, as are her mother and grandmother. Interestingly, she dressed as a man. However, she did the rescuing. It was a refreshing change.

In high school, those same children listed above begin to act out what they learned when they were much younger. The girls look for boys that can save them or rescue them. They look for their prince charming. The boys take on a serious role of being the provider and rescuer. This is where abuse begins, in my opinion. The boys may mistakenly think that they are the superior person, because they are boys, and begin to treat their girlfriends as inferior. This is where the abuse begins. The girls may be confused as to their role in the relationship. They may think they are stuck in that type of relationship because that is how they grew up thinking.

How is our society supposed to bring about change? Where does it all begin? I believe that children, early on, need to be taught to respect everyone, regardless of gender. Boys should respect girls and vice-versa. There is no person superior over another in regards to relationships. Relationships should be about equality on both sides. If children are taught, from Kindergarten on, to respect everyone else, that thinking would hopefully remain with the children throughout their life. In high school, it is also about respect. It’s about boys and girls having equality and respect for each other.

Our society must educate everyone on the issues of abuse. It needs to start at a young age. One idea would be that children in elementary school are given role models to follow that mirror respect for all people. They should also be taught that no one is to hit another person or practice name calling. An idea for our high school students might be to address them through assemblies. Guest speakers could come into the schools and talk to the students about equality and respect. There should also be times set aside to bring in women, or men, that have experienced abuse and now share their stories to educate others.

parenting skills: listen to your child

As an adult, we have our own ego. Ego to admit mistakes, to ask for help, to accept other people opinion, to make fool of ourself, to say thank you, to say sorry, to cry out loud and even to listen to someone. However, as parents, we should put aside our ego and try to listen to our child.

Listen to their opinion, their own thoughts, their feelings and listen to what they want. Listening doesnt mean agreeing. You can listen to them but that doesnt mean you have to agree on everything they want. Just give them the chance to express it out loud. Dont ever shut you child in the middle of a conversation. For example,

child: "Mom, i want to go to the zoo because..."

mom: "NO!"

Dont interrupt and shut them off like that. Give them the chance to finish up their sentence. In this way they dont feel so unappreciated and left out. Moreover, give them good reason and put it in a nice sentence.

child: "Mom, i want to go to the zoo because my teacher told me to take a picture of a monkey."

mom: "i'm sorry honey, but you cant. You got fever remember?"

In the first situation, the child will be angry with your answer and they will tend to rebel by crying non stop or yelling at you. They will pull a face infont of you and start to refuse eating or listen to you. This is because you dont listen to them! In consequence, you will be angry and start using physical involvement excessively. That simple situation can cause child abuse, so start listen to your child. It wont kill you.

Every word are belong to me, Hanis.

parenting skills: conduct good communication

Communication is very important as it bond relationship between people. This include communication among families. Gaps in age cause misunderstanding between parents and child. This is due to the era of generation. Parents are a bit older and they grow up during the era of 60's or 50's, whereas children is from the millennium era. So, the way of expressing feelings through words is misused from both side.

Children are more rebel nowadays. They tend to use harsh words to express their feelings. Due to this situation, parents have to adapt with the changes and dont take it seriously. Do understand that they are influence by media and other culture. Children dont even meant what they say. Their anger and the attitude of ignorance conquers them. For example, parents did not let their child went to a party, the child got upset and start to rebel to express their anger. Just because they dont know how, they tend to use harsh words. "I hate you mom!" or maybe even worse.

Moreover, parents should also use straight forward meaning in advising them. Dont use such metaphor and intended meaning to say, "Dont come back home late after 8". See, it is easy to understand when the message is said very clearly. While, unsaid meaning could make the children confuse. "Dont be late!" Children does not know what time is it precisely is late? 12? 1? 2? When the children disobeyed, they get scolded without even realize that parents them selves does not communicate clearly. They did not deliver their message precisely, how would they know. They are just kids after all.

Other than that, when requesting something such as help, wish or anything from your child, use polite sentence. Just because yo have authority in the house, dont just simply yell to them to tell them what to do. For example, "Can you please keep quite? i'm working here", "Please help me run to the store for a while, will you?", "Help me to look after your sister this weekend okay?". Its like asking a question but without wanting the answer as the answer will be a definite YES. By asking them, it shows that you care about how they feel, you are concerning their choice and giving them options. In this way, your children does not feel burdened as a servant. If you did in the opposite way, they children will start to question you back. For instance, "Why should i?". "Do i have to?", "Who are you to tell me what to do?" or even "So?". This kind of answer will challenge your ego as parents and that will cause fight abusively.

Thus, treat them as an adult, adapt with the new environment and choose the right way to say as good communication can curb child abuse.

every words are belong to me, Hanis.

parenting skills: take time for your self

Child abuse can occur when the parents is tired of everything. Their body and mind is restless, especially in this hectic life. The business at work place, the traffic jam and the expectations need to fulfill in the job field. Moreover, when they get back home, they still can get a piece of rest as they have to cook, they have children to take care of, help them with their homework and even until iron their school uniform for the next morning! These routines keep spinning on and on everyday. The boredom of doing the same routine make body feels tired and mind too. When body get tired, it needs rest. If it has not enough rest, it will function uncontrolled. The same goes with mind.

Therefore, take some time for one self. Run away for a while. Go on a vacation and escape the routine. For example, go to an island somewhere away from people and have a sweet time for yourself. Go outstation or somewhere peaceful and more quite. Other than that, get away from the norms in life and do something unexpected. Do bunjee jumping or hiking, or even scuba diving. Do something that is a lot different than the normal routine. Besides that, if you have a limited time, just take a break for a while. For ladies, go to spa or saloon to have manicure, body massage or do a make over. Perhaps with new look, you will get a new aura.

In conclusion, refresh your self. Because after all, its your life what it counts and what matters most is, your condition affect your actions toward your children. So, dont neglect yourself.

Every word are belong to me, Hanis.

the outline

I will be discussing on the first solution which is improve parenting skills.

Ismadi will be discussing on the second point which is increase government involvement.

Lastly, Ratcha will be discussing on the third solution which is encourage society awareness.

group members, please do your part.

thank you. :)

parenting skills: act as the leader

In a flight, the pilot and the co-pilot plays a big role to make sure the flight went smooth without any incidents and assure the flight reach the destination. Similarly, mother and father is the pilot and co-pilot in a family. In a family, parents play an important role to make sure the whole family does not breakdown and make sure the family live happily ever after. Aware or not, want or not, every parent is the leader in a family. When they become parents, they immediately become leaders.

However, living in this era of globalization, there are a lot of challenges. As an adult, they felt the tension even more. Children needs, economic demands, works problem and everything is in their head. Thus, these kind of things effect their emotion and decision wise. They tend to be depressed and cant think the right way. They do not know how to deal with their emotion. Due to that reason, they put the blame on their child and make them the place to release their anger instead.

That is one factor that cause child abuse. So, in order to curb the situation, firstly, parents have to take one step back and look at them selves. They are lacking in parenting skills. To manage a good family organization, they must have organized and disciplined followers. To have organized and disciplined followers, they must have a good leader. To be a good leader, the leader must have a good leadership.

To have good leadership and eventually have a good and happy family, the parents should be:

• optimist. person that see the glass "half full'.
• able to focus on important things.
• care about others.
• demonstrate good manners.
• confident in every step.
• good in solving problem.
• encouraging.

Enhance parenting skills and act as a good leader and eventually, child abuse can be curb.

every word are belong to me, Hanis.

PLEASE WATCH........

.............Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones. While physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves, not all child abuse is as obvious. Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid are also child abuse. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm