Communication is very important as it bond relationship between people. This include communication among families. Gaps in age cause misunderstanding between parents and child. This is due to the era of generation. Parents are a bit older and they grow up during the era of 60's or 50's, whereas children is from the millennium era. So, the way of expressing feelings through words is misused from both side.
Children are more rebel nowadays. They tend to use harsh words to express their feelings. Due to this situation, parents have to adapt with the changes and dont take it seriously. Do understand that they are influence by media and other culture. Children dont even meant what they say. Their anger and the attitude of ignorance conquers them. For example, parents did not let their child went to a party, the child got upset and start to rebel to express their anger. Just because they dont know how, they tend to use harsh words. "I hate you mom!" or maybe even worse.
Moreover, parents should also use straight forward meaning in advising them. Dont use such metaphor and intended meaning to say, "Dont come back home late after 8". See, it is easy to understand when the message is said very clearly. While, unsaid meaning could make the children confuse. "Dont be late!" Children does not know what time is it precisely is late? 12? 1? 2? When the children disobeyed, they get scolded without even realize that parents them selves does not communicate clearly. They did not deliver their message precisely, how would they know. They are just kids after all.
Other than that, when requesting something such as help, wish or anything from your child, use polite sentence. Just because yo have authority in the house, dont just simply yell to them to tell them what to do. For example, "Can you please keep quite? i'm working here", "Please help me run to the store for a while, will you?", "Help me to look after your sister this weekend okay?". Its like asking a question but without wanting the answer as the answer will be a definite YES. By asking them, it shows that you care about how they feel, you are concerning their choice and giving them options. In this way, your children does not feel burdened as a servant. If you did in the opposite way, they children will start to question you back. For instance, "Why should i?". "Do i have to?", "Who are you to tell me what to do?" or even "So?". This kind of answer will challenge your ego as parents and that will cause fight abusively.
Thus, treat them as an adult, adapt with the new environment and choose the right way to say as good communication can curb child abuse.
every words are belong to me, Hanis.
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