News paper articles

Firstly, before i begin with the new post, i would like to comment on Ratcha's point. I totally agree with the stereotype thinking. However, not only boyfriend though. The same goes with father too. A child, especially girl usually think that the father is the hero in a family. He should protect and guide the family. This is because they get influenced by fairy tales. So when the father physically abuse or even sexually abuse the child, she doesnt know that her father is actually wrong. They keep quite and the scenario keeps on and on.

I found some interesting articles in the newspaper that support all three of our points which are improve parenting skills, increase government involvement and encourage society awareness.

PROTECTING THE CHILD

March 2, 2010, New Straits Times

More importantly, children need to be educated on their rights.”

What are the factors behind child abuse?

“It depends on the type of abuse. Physical abuse, for instance, may take place due to poor parenting skills or high levels of stress.

A parent or a caretaker may be unable to deal with a baby who cries non-stop. There have been a few cases of heartless adults who enjoy abusing children. Sexual abuse is the work of sick individuals. The only way to prevent this type of abuse is to allow no opportunity for it to take place. That is why it is important to teach children about their bodies and how to retaliate when someone violates them. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is more complex as the signs are not apparent. Such abuse includes verbal abuse. Whatever the nature of abuse, the only way to stop it is to change the way society perceives children. Children are persons in their own rights. They are not merely objects.

For instance, we don’t hit another adult but many parents hit their children as they regard their children as their possession. Some parents say they beat their children to discipline them but research has proven that this is ineffective. You might get the desired effect immediately but the negative effects last a long time. It teaches children that it is okay to hurt other people. There is a fine line between discipline and abuse and it is so easy to cross it.”

What should a child do should he/she be abused?

“Inform a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, counsellor or religious figure. The adult should immediately act upon the complaint no matter how minor it is.”

Are there any laws to protect children against abuse in Malaysia?

“Malaysia ratified the United Nation’s Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1995 (CRC) and by doing so has agreed to place children’s rights as paramount consideration.

What can we do to help those who are abused?

“There are a number of NGOs which provide support for the abused — Women’s Aid Organisation and PS the Children, to name a few. I am sure they would welcome volunteers. However, it is more important to ensure that professional counselling is given to the victims. Counselling should also be given to the offender to ensure that he/she does not repeat the offence.”

What can society do to combat child abuse?

“Respect children as individuals with rights.” If adults understand and accept this, abuse against children may decrease. They must also be vigilant. The phrase “jangan jaga tepi kain orang” does not augur well for child protection. If you suspect anything amiss, ask what is happening.

Lastly, be supportive. Neighbours should look out for the children in their neighbourhood. The recent death of the three-year-old who was kicked, stomped and brutally beaten could have been prevented had family members and neighbours raised the alarm.

REPORT CHILD ABUSE OR FACE LAW

March 6, 2010, New Straits times

Under the Child Act, parents and family members, childcare providers and medical practitioners must immediately report children suspected to be physically or emotionally injured as a result of being ill-treated, neglected, abandoned or exposed, or are sexually abused. Should they fail to report such cases, they can be fined a maximum of RM5,000 or jailed not more than two years or both. Teachers, counsellors and the public should also report cases of abuse to the authorities although they are not required to do so.

Shahrizat acknowledged that the law had not been strictly enforced, with no one being charged so far. She wanted the law to cover others as well, such as teachers. "Children, especially students, spend most of their time in school, so perhaps they (teachers) should also be governed by the same provisions under the law."

"We can take the child (victims of abuse) into our care but it is up to the police to go after those who did not report the abuse although they are required by law to do so," she said later when visiting the Taman Sinar Harapan children's home at Bukit Besar here.

footnote by Hanis: if everyone practice "jaga tepi kain sendiri", many and many children get abuse and the abuser gets away. There are many NGO in Malaysia that gives support for the abuse so make used of them. Teachers are also responsible to report any changes in the children even though they are not being paid for that purpose. Do we need to pay salary just to report an abused child? Where are our humanity?

parenting skills: listen to your child

As an adult, we have our own ego. Ego to admit mistakes, to ask for help, to accept other people opinion, to make fool of ourself, to say thank you, to say sorry, to cry out loud and even to listen to someone. However, as parents, we should put aside our ego and try to listen to our child.

Listen to their opinion, their own thoughts, their feelings and listen to what they want. Listening doesnt mean agreeing. You can listen to them but that doesnt mean you have to agree on everything they want. Just give them the chance to express it out loud. Dont ever shut you child in the middle of a conversation. For example,

child: "Mom, i want to go to the zoo because..."

mom: "NO!"

Dont interrupt and shut them off like that. Give them the chance to finish up their sentence. In this way they dont feel so unappreciated and left out. Moreover, give them good reason and put it in a nice sentence.

child: "Mom, i want to go to the zoo because my teacher told me to take a picture of a monkey."

mom: "i'm sorry honey, but you cant. You got fever remember?"

In the first situation, the child will be angry with your answer and they will tend to rebel by crying non stop or yelling at you. They will pull a face infont of you and start to refuse eating or listen to you. This is because you dont listen to them! In consequence, you will be angry and start using physical involvement excessively. That simple situation can cause child abuse, so start listen to your child. It wont kill you.

Every word are belong to me, Hanis.

parenting skills: conduct good communication

Communication is very important as it bond relationship between people. This include communication among families. Gaps in age cause misunderstanding between parents and child. This is due to the era of generation. Parents are a bit older and they grow up during the era of 60's or 50's, whereas children is from the millennium era. So, the way of expressing feelings through words is misused from both side.

Children are more rebel nowadays. They tend to use harsh words to express their feelings. Due to this situation, parents have to adapt with the changes and dont take it seriously. Do understand that they are influence by media and other culture. Children dont even meant what they say. Their anger and the attitude of ignorance conquers them. For example, parents did not let their child went to a party, the child got upset and start to rebel to express their anger. Just because they dont know how, they tend to use harsh words. "I hate you mom!" or maybe even worse.

Moreover, parents should also use straight forward meaning in advising them. Dont use such metaphor and intended meaning to say, "Dont come back home late after 8". See, it is easy to understand when the message is said very clearly. While, unsaid meaning could make the children confuse. "Dont be late!" Children does not know what time is it precisely is late? 12? 1? 2? When the children disobeyed, they get scolded without even realize that parents them selves does not communicate clearly. They did not deliver their message precisely, how would they know. They are just kids after all.

Other than that, when requesting something such as help, wish or anything from your child, use polite sentence. Just because yo have authority in the house, dont just simply yell to them to tell them what to do. For example, "Can you please keep quite? i'm working here", "Please help me run to the store for a while, will you?", "Help me to look after your sister this weekend okay?". Its like asking a question but without wanting the answer as the answer will be a definite YES. By asking them, it shows that you care about how they feel, you are concerning their choice and giving them options. In this way, your children does not feel burdened as a servant. If you did in the opposite way, they children will start to question you back. For instance, "Why should i?". "Do i have to?", "Who are you to tell me what to do?" or even "So?". This kind of answer will challenge your ego as parents and that will cause fight abusively.

Thus, treat them as an adult, adapt with the new environment and choose the right way to say as good communication can curb child abuse.

every words are belong to me, Hanis.

parenting skills: take time for your self

Child abuse can occur when the parents is tired of everything. Their body and mind is restless, especially in this hectic life. The business at work place, the traffic jam and the expectations need to fulfill in the job field. Moreover, when they get back home, they still can get a piece of rest as they have to cook, they have children to take care of, help them with their homework and even until iron their school uniform for the next morning! These routines keep spinning on and on everyday. The boredom of doing the same routine make body feels tired and mind too. When body get tired, it needs rest. If it has not enough rest, it will function uncontrolled. The same goes with mind.

Therefore, take some time for one self. Run away for a while. Go on a vacation and escape the routine. For example, go to an island somewhere away from people and have a sweet time for yourself. Go outstation or somewhere peaceful and more quite. Other than that, get away from the norms in life and do something unexpected. Do bunjee jumping or hiking, or even scuba diving. Do something that is a lot different than the normal routine. Besides that, if you have a limited time, just take a break for a while. For ladies, go to spa or saloon to have manicure, body massage or do a make over. Perhaps with new look, you will get a new aura.

In conclusion, refresh your self. Because after all, its your life what it counts and what matters most is, your condition affect your actions toward your children. So, dont neglect yourself.

Every word are belong to me, Hanis.

the outline

I will be discussing on the first solution which is improve parenting skills.

Ismadi will be discussing on the second point which is increase government involvement.

Lastly, Ratcha will be discussing on the third solution which is encourage society awareness.

group members, please do your part.

thank you. :)

parenting skills: act as the leader

In a flight, the pilot and the co-pilot plays a big role to make sure the flight went smooth without any incidents and assure the flight reach the destination. Similarly, mother and father is the pilot and co-pilot in a family. In a family, parents play an important role to make sure the whole family does not breakdown and make sure the family live happily ever after. Aware or not, want or not, every parent is the leader in a family. When they become parents, they immediately become leaders.

However, living in this era of globalization, there are a lot of challenges. As an adult, they felt the tension even more. Children needs, economic demands, works problem and everything is in their head. Thus, these kind of things effect their emotion and decision wise. They tend to be depressed and cant think the right way. They do not know how to deal with their emotion. Due to that reason, they put the blame on their child and make them the place to release their anger instead.

That is one factor that cause child abuse. So, in order to curb the situation, firstly, parents have to take one step back and look at them selves. They are lacking in parenting skills. To manage a good family organization, they must have organized and disciplined followers. To have organized and disciplined followers, they must have a good leader. To be a good leader, the leader must have a good leadership.

To have good leadership and eventually have a good and happy family, the parents should be:

• optimist. person that see the glass "half full'.
• able to focus on important things.
• care about others.
• demonstrate good manners.
• confident in every step.
• good in solving problem.
• encouraging.

Enhance parenting skills and act as a good leader and eventually, child abuse can be curb.

every word are belong to me, Hanis.

just for an introduction of the topic

Definition of child abuse.

We are not discussing on the definition of child abuse. But just for an introductory and before we discuss the solution of it, the general definition of child abuse is:

"Child abuse is any action (or lack of) which endangers or impairs a child’s physical, mental or emotional health and development."

There are many types of child abuse and different specific definition for each of it such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and neglect. Click on this link to know more on each definition for each type of child abuse. Extra information wont kill you.

However, for the solutions and ways to curb it, we as a group going to see it from one general perspective which is child abuse. There might be certain solution for particular abuse but basically, we'll try to come out with the solution in general so that all kind of abuses can be curb.

hello people.

i assume someone is reading this.

welcome notes from hanismanis:

this is a discussion project for our SKPD1033 English for Social Sciences class.

the issues we are going to discuss is CHILD ABUSE and the topic is

Solutions to curb child abuse.

the objectives of this discussion are:

• Why do child abuse still occurs nowadays?
• What other ways to curb the problem?
• How can the family, society and government helps?
• What improvement can be done to the suggested ways by government?

there are three of us in this group which are;

Hanis Manis

Ratcha

Ismadi

you guys are welcome to share your thoughts and comments.

till then, adios amigos.

welcome notes from Ratcha:

Hi........m RATCHA...one of the group members for this discussion.As stated above,we going to discuss about child abuse....pls follow-up to listen our discussion via this blog regarding child abuse....Togather we curb child abuse......bubye....


.